Thoughts on my condition, please help

[tweezerr]

Hello, this is my first post. I just wanted to get some insight into my condition and see what everyone thinks. I've had this now for about 2 months, with symptoms every single freakin day....its getting so bad that I'm starting to have suicidal thoughts even, not that I would probably act on them, but just to give you and idea of how bad its gotten. I've read pain in the pelvis and have tried all the benzo drugs. I just wanted to tell my story and see if anyone has any thoughts/insight.

I'm currently 29. Over the past 8 years I've been trying to work on lasting longer during sex and masturbating. I would do this by tensing my PC muscles and even clenching them off to stop the ejaculation everyday when masturbating and also during sex. I've also been working on getting off my porn addiction for the past 2 years and am about 90% recovered, but over the past 2 years when I would relapse and look at porn I would get SUPER excited and have LONG porn/masturbation sessions, lasting like 4-5 hours at a time, constantly holding off the ejaculation and sometimes orgasming and clenching off the sperm and continuing to keep masturbating.

I think about all that now and I get chills up my spine at how damaging that had to have been.

Anyway, this all started after my biggest porn/mb bender in my life, consisting of 4 days of about 8 hours each day masturbating and watching porn, constantly holding off my ejaculation, while also stimulating my prostate....... till finally I just involuntarily ejaculated with no contraction, it just spewed out, completely watery with no contractions...... it freaked me out. Over the following week I continued to have sex and masturbate in hopes that I would be back to normal. I never got back to normal. I then tried to stop masturbating to let myself heal but haven't been completely successfully, going about 5-10 days and then masturbating for a few days, but for short periods of time, like 5-7 minutes

I now have all the symptoms of chronic prostatitis / chronic pelvic pain syndrome that are described here, pain after ejaculation for hours to days, frequent urination, pain while sitting, inflamed perineum, dull achy sensation in penis. I bought "A Pain in the Pelvis" a few weeks ago and have started doing the exercises and have been trying to stop masturbating and having sex, but it has been SUPER hard.

Any thoughts on how bad my old masturbation habits have screwed me up?

Thanks in advance.

[webslave]

You certainly do seem to have overdone it and need to change these habits. You have probably affected the nerves and muscles of the pelvic floor, and nerves especially take quite a long time to recover, so slowing down and treating yourself gently is required.

In general, the pattern of behaviour you describe suggests OCD to me, so while I may be completely wrong on that, you may benefit from seeing a psychologist about anxiety and obsessive behaviour.

[tweezerr]

Webslave, thanks for taking the time to read my story. I really appreciate your insight.

I have always thought I might be OCD and my friends swear I'm OCD, I just never wanted to get on any drugs. I wanted to tackle it on my own but its not easy when I've been this way my whole life. I have been taking Benzo's everyday for the past 4 days and have almost felt like I've been on a vacation, but I know I can't continue to take them because they are addictive.

What is the best way to heal nerves and how bad do you think I have messed up my pelvic muscles?

Thanks again!

[webslave]

Your muscles are fine, probably full of trigger points, but muscles always recover.

Nerves need TIME and REST to recover.

[tweezerr]

What is the best way to heal my nerves? Should I still be doing the internal and external trigger point therapy and stretches? Should I completely abstain from sex and masturbation?

Thanks again webslave, I think you are right on the money with your advice, can't thank you enough!!

[webslave]

As I said, time and rest, yes and yes, and no to total abstention. Twice is week is a good average.

[tweezerr]

My biggest question on my recovery is whether I should abstain completely from sex and masturbation or get on a twice a week routine. I feel like if I get a regular routine of twice a week I wouldn't be as horny and aroused all the time but then again it could aggravate the nerves that I'm trying to heal? Any thoughts?

[webslave]

No, complete abstention can lead to a congested gland, which in itself can be irritating to the nerves.

[yoink15]

That's interesting webslave. As part of my healing process, I've been trying to completely abstain from ejaculation, since I figured that ejaculation works out those tight levator ani muscles too much...or does it? Actually I don't know. If I have trigger points on the LA, is ejaculating making the prostate better but the muscles worse? Does the ejaculatory process use the Levator Ani?

I do notice (like right now) if I haven't ejaculated for more than a week I start to feel tense, anxious, and also my urinary symptoms oddly increase. Do you think abstaining for just seven days can lead to a full, congested prostate?

[webslave]

Don't get too concerned about it, but in general a couple of ejaculations a week, performed as calmly as possible (I know, what a passion killer), is probably best.

[carld]

You can also read my starter list in my signature for help...You will recover...It takes a few years to really notice the difference if you listen to the fine advice in this forum...Measure your success by months and not days. You will recover!!!!

Best

[tweezerr]

I'm right now experiencing my first couple of hours of pain free bliss.......after 9 weeks of hell......I did 15 minutes of cardio a few hours ago, maybe that was the ticket. I've also been stretching everyday, meditating, relaxing and trying my hardest to accept this shit and let it go, which has been the hardest for me.

I've got a 4 hour flight home tomorrow for a funeral, then turn right around the next day and head home...wish me luck:(

[tweezerr]

Is this something that I will need to manage for the rest of my life or will I ever be back to normal. Is this just a constant battle of managing and avoiding flare ups? And will I ever be able to have regular daily sex again?

A couple more questions:

1. I've had this now for 3 months, what's the typical recovery time?

2. Is it bad to be sitting on a foam cushion with the middle cut out..... with my perineum suspended in the middle? Isn't that the same issue as sitting on a toilet seat?

3. Are flare ups from triggers like too much sex a step back in recovery?

Thanks!

[webslave]

Is this something that I will need to manage for the rest of my life or will I ever be back to normal.

Both. You can be normal again, but if you re-start doing the things that provoked it in the first place, you'll get chronic prostatitis / chronic pelvic pain syndrome again.

Recovery time varies, hole in seat is not harmful, flare-ups during recovery are normal and to be expected.

[tweezerr]

Thanks webslave! This chronic prostatitis / chronic pelvic pain syndrome really sucks to say the least. I've been working pretty hard at my recovery, I've gotten out of the severe depressed state I was in. I've been doing internal work but mainly just stretching and massaging the muscles and being careful not to do any damage since I'm inexperienced. I'm trying to find trigger points but not finding many sore spots yet. I'd love to go a PT, but I'm don't have the balls yet to make the move.

Few more questions:

--Why is sitting on a toilet seat bad?

--When people get over this is, is it typically flare ups that just get further and further apart from each other until they're gone....or does it ever just stop abruptly one day?

--What is causing the actual pain in the perineum and penis..... is it the nerves? Is it the prostate squeezing the urethra? Is it the muscles strained?