New member's story- extreme with extra symptoms

[Dave]

Hello everyone,

I am new to this board. I developed a L5/S1 herniation about 6 years ago. I think that was a sign of a problem which led to a pelvic floor problem 2 years ago. I'm not sure that I have pelvic floor dysfunction, because I don't resonate entirely with the classic symptoms and flareups which are described here. My most serious symptoms are ones which I haven't read about pertaining to pelvic floor dysfunction.

I have somewhat frequent urination (about once every 2 hours or more if I am drinking enough water), an enlarged prostate, difficulty starting a urine stream sometimes (no bladder pain). constipation and burning pain in the top part of the shaft of my penis when I get a full erection. I haven't been able to sit for almost 2 years (Sitting causes burning on my sitz bone, hamstring, muscles next to my anus. The pain gets progressively worse the longer I sit). I also can't stand on my feet because the soles start burning and hurting. The more I stand, the worse it becomes, and the longer it takes for them to recover at all.

I believe that my disc herniation was the direct result of 17 years of chronic and obsessive masturbation that began when I was 17 and wanted to quit masturbating because I wanted a girlfriend. So I would masturbate almost to ejaculation 3 times a day without allowing myself to ejaculate. I did this for 2 weeks, and built up so much pressure in my groin area that I collapsed in pain after having an ejaculation. I was in tremendous pain and felt like I damaged my left testicle, which I noticed had a cyst on it (MD"s have said it is fine) and the tubes on the left testicle are pretty loose and are not firmly connected like on the right one. The testicle is also smaller. Urologists say I am fine.

I became obsessed with the fact that I thought I damaged my testicle. I tried masturbating relatively soon after the incident and had a burning pain in my penis during the ejaculation (which has never returned) and in my testicle. Also, that was the first time that the semen just oozed out, without any projection. I was really freaked out and never discussed it with anyone. I thought about my testicle non-stop for about 6 years and my life became a living hell. I masturbated 2-3 times a day (I was doing it previously once every 2 or 3 days), not because I wanted to, but to prove to myself that there was nothing wrong with the equipment functionality. So I haven't enjoyed masturbation at all, since then. It makes me more nervous and upset about my condition. I lost complete interest in sex and several years ago began to worry that I was gay as well.

I developed a habit of sitting in front of the computer for hours on end, masturbating to porn with a strange type of enjoyment (not really natural)and creating lots of anxiety and building pressure in my groin which would not release during ejaculation. I really began to clamp down on the muscles while I was masturbating. I would masturbate because I felt anxious and lonely as well. I would squeeze the muscles to try and have more powerful ejaculations. This went on for the next 21 years. After I herniated the disc in my back, I noticed that every time I would masturbate, my sacrum would become severely locked up. For the past 5 years, I've been going to chiropractors 1-2 times a week to alleviate the stiffness in my sacrum, mid back, feet, neck shoulders and hamstrings. My heels get jammed upwards, arches fall, and I haven't been able to walk much and now I can barely stand. I believe I've been committing sexual abuse towards myself for all of these years because of masturbating against my higher self's will.

About 1.5 years ago, I got angry and started yelling at a barking dog, and felt something to the left of my anus give out and had severe burning, which subsided after months and then recently got flared up when I was trying to stretch my hamstrings. I can't sit and have to be very careful not to sit too much and flare it up, because if I do, it can take a week to recover. Also, I noticed that if I ejaculate, the burning pain comes back strongly, which can take months to recover from, so I haven't masturbated in 6 months. I am terrified of sex. Even thinking about sex or looking at suggestive pictures causes my whole nervous system to contract, my tailbone to tuck and muscles in my body to contract and sacrum to lock up, putting me in tremendous pain. I become anxious beyond belief after I ejaculate and can't relate to people at all. So I have a tremendous fear around sex or sexual feelings. Even thinking about sex can torque my pelvis and cause my tailbone to tuck between my legs at a 90 degree angle.

I've also developed a sensitivity to chemicals, have IBS, and the only things I can eat without my sacrum going into a torquing pattern are plain meat and cooked vegetables. I can't have wheat, spices, dairy, sugar, caffeine, grains, soy or alcohol. Caffeine and alcohol cause my back to go into knots and completely lock up my sacrum. None of these things affect my bladder though. I was told by a chiropractor that my ligaments are weak, which is why my feet can't support my body.

So needless to say, I'm having a tough time because I've been at home laying down for 3 months because I can't walk or sit, am constantly running to chiropractors for brief relief, and am very nervous of any type of sexual thought or impulse coming up. I can't work and thankfully got laid off from my job 3 months ago and am getting decent unemployment benefits.

Does this sound like pelvic floor dysfunction to you and have any of you had the issues I'm describing around chronic masturbation and the nervous system and muscles going into lockdown? I've never met anyone with this exact problem and have felt alone because I don't know how to keep my back from going into complete spasm without abstaining from thinking about or engaging in sexual activities. Are there any types of psychological help for this? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

I've signed up for Dr Wise's program and am hoping that will help.

Thanks very much for reading and I'm really glad this forum is here.

[Jay]

Hi Dave,

It's impossible for us to diagnose. However, I can say that the majority of your symptoms sound about right for CPPS. Many guys who develop this condition to a severe degree are never out of pain until they're properly treated. Anxiety and excessive masturbation are common themes in men who show up here. Food allergies are also of note. There are men who do better when largely celibate, and who can't sit much -- I'm one of them, and I've been diagnosed by two authorities with PFD. I can feel the spasm myself, like a vice, but only when I do an internal examination as trained by my PT.

This is just a layman's opinion, but I believe you definitely need to seek psychological assistance to pair with your physical issues. Otherwise, your mental state will simply perpetuate the neuromuscular problems, a cycle which is the basic theme behind the Wise-Anderson Protocol. Aside from the paradoxical relaxation techniques you'll learn at the clinic, you may want to look into the services of a cognitive behavioral therapist. You could also see a psychologist, particularly one specializing in chronic pain and/or sexual issues. Psychotherapy is another option.

If you have signed up to Doctor Wise's clinic, this means you've had an opportunity to speak with him. He speaks with each clinic candidate personally in order to make certain that they sound like a viable patient. You probably wouldn't have been invited if he felt the Wise-Anderson Protocol held no potential benefits for you.

[Dave]

Thanks for the reply Jay and all of that good advice. Yes, I did speak to Dr Wise and he recommended me for the program, which I feel may help a lot. You're right that If Dr Wise didn't think I was a good candidate, he wouldn't have suggested that I show up. I am reading his book now, but am not as much of an expert on trigger points and such as others around here. I guess I'm a bit of a hypochondriac who doubts doctors a lot, so I'm going to now relax about that. You are also right that I need to gain control of the muscular problems which I've developed from mental conditioning. That is what adds an extra challenge for me. Thanks again for the advice and sharing your personal experience. I really appreciate that. Someone else suggested cognitive behavioral therapy to me as well. I'm going to look into that.

[webslave]

Dave, to me you seem to have very severe psychological problems in the area of anxiety, social phobia and obsession, which is common for men with this condition. In your case it has virtually disabled you. You definitely need help in this area. The UCPPS is secondary. Wise-Anderson Protocol is good, but in your case a psychiatrist, who can prescribe medications like high-dose Lexapro (or another SSRI, or anxiolytic) would be a better start.

It's a vicious circle for you without psychological help. Social phobia --> hours masturbating before PC --> back problems --> pain --> UCPPS --> bed-ridden --> isolation --> depression --> anxiety ---> repeat.

To break out of this, the key is the mind. Once you are locked in an anxiety-driven circle of obsessive-compulsive behaviour, you need help to get out of it. You've been locked into it for a very long time.

[Dave]

Thanks for the reply webslave. I agree with you, only I've taken the obsessive compulsive masturbation in front of the computer out of the picture. I haven't done that in 6 months, as well as abstaining from masturbation for 6 months. My body doesn't seem to be healing, however. I thought Wise-Anderson might be the key for physical healing now, as my IBS prevents my body from processing nutrients. All of this stuff is tied so perfectly together. I'm trying to dig my way out of a big hole.

All of the psych problems may need to be addressed, first, though, as my thoughts and anxiety are still creating havoc in my body. I''m looking for a psychiatrist now. I've heard of Lexapro. I'll read more about that. Thanks again.