Obligation to inform sex partner of my CPPS?

[faceinthecrowd]

So I spoke to my doctor today. He told me that, since the cause of chronic prostatitis / chronic pelvic pain syndrome is unknown, he cannot tell me as an absolute certainty that it cannot be transmitted sexually. He did say, however, that he has never seen an instance of someone with chronic prostatitis / chronic pelvic pain syndrome giving it in any form to a sex partner and there is no evidence that such a thing happens. I would be wearing a condom, anyway, but I worry that if some accident happened - if the condom was defective, or whatever - that I might transmit it. So I guess my question is, do I have a moral obligation to tell a potential partner about my CPPS? I try to avoid telling anyone about it because it is such an embarassing ailment. I know the opinion of this website is that chronic prostatitis / chronic pelvic pain syndrome is not an STD, but I'd like to hear from other men on the issue. Thanks.

[one day...]

Maybe a moral obligation to tell her if you plan on having a relationship with this girl. To let her know what chronic prostatitis / chronic pelvic pain syndrome is like, and she might have some difficult times in your relationship, do to the nature of your problem. But you can't give it to her. I have been with the same girl through out this whole thing, there have been no problems on her side, except having to stand by me in some really difficult times.

[faceinthecrowd]

oneday, thanks for the reply. But you see, my symptoms have reduced to the point where they do not really interfere with my daily life. There are no real limits on what I can do, so I don't forsee any tough times, although anything is possible. Tt is the sex issue really that concerns me - I don't want to live with the guilt of giving this problem to someone.

[MastCells]

So I guess my question is, do I have a moral obligation to tell a potential partner about my CPPS?

No. However, if you get involved in a long-term relationship, and your condition begins to have a major impact on your life again, then telling her that you have pelvic myoneuropathy and explaining to her what you're going through might actually save your relationship.

[Michael in Boston]

Hi Face,

You are a VETERAN. You know this is not an infectious disease. You can not transmit tightening up your pelvis under stress to somebody else. As you have recovered significantly, you MUST understand the Stanford/Wise-Anderson Protocol. I am so happy you have recovered.

First of all, no need to be embarrased. Shit happens and if you tell people about it, you probably will be telling somebody who also is suffering but doesn't know as much as we do about how to handle it and hasn't talked about it. Just about everybody has something wrong phsyically/psychologically. It's like some people need glasses-no big deal. I have told groups at dinner tables that I have a problem where I clench my pelvis and its like TMJ (Jaw clenching) but of the pelvis and with the help of yoga, relaxation, and some guy putting his hand in my ass every now and then, I have gotten about all better. I have only been treated with respect. Every woman I have told has been OK with it and their knowledge has not interfered with my sex life. Instead, they are more understanding if you are a little quiet or you pee a little more often after you ejaculate. Usually when I tell groups, somebody says they have had chronic prostatitis / chronic pelvic pain syndrome or have a friend who does. Also, people with Irritable Bowel Syndrome (poo version of what we have it seems) , Crohn's Disease (poo version with a potential genetic cause) and some other tension myositis disorders (TMJ, shoulder and back pain) ask about my neuromuscular trigger point treatments, my yoga, and the Tapes from Dr. Wise.

Everyone has pain, the groin is just another place. And as Dr. Wise says on the tapes, shame around the groin, may be a pyschological trigger for CPPS. It's just parts of the body, like ears but a little lower down.

I think you will do OK telling the ladies. Honesty about sensitive subjects is actually a turn on for many women. I can't tell you how many women I have been with that have had some sexual limitations due to endometriosis, ovarian problems, etc.

Glad to hear you are feeling better. Be comfortable that you have something that a lot of people have and you are lucky enough to find your way towards a cure. Share and it can help others and yourself.

Michael

[alphacentauri]

So I guess my question is, do I have a moral obligation to tell a potential partner about my CPPS?

No. However, if you get involved in a long-term relationship, and your condition begins to have a major impact on your life again, then telling her that you have pelvic myoneuropathy and explaining to her what you're going through might actually save your relationship.

I agree. If you have an infectious disease, you certainly have a moral/ethical obligation to tell your sexual partner. In case of chronic prostatitis / chronic pelvic pain syndrome you don't need to do that, especially with casual partners. But you should tell a potentially serious partner, since chronic prostatitis / chronic pelvic pain syndrome is something that affects your life in a major way & is sure to affect your relationship.

And there's absolutely nothing embarrasing about this condition. Yes, discussing chronic prostatitis / chronic pelvic pain syndrome can be a delicate matter & you might not want to tell everyone you know, but people you're close to, or potentially close to, yes.

I told the person I'm in a relationship with immediately & quickly told my close family & friends afterwards, though I don't discuss the matter with casual acquaintances or people I work with.