Bizarre ongoing genital discomfort since Feb, any ideas?

[indecisiveman]

Hi so I've been scouring reddit, consulting doctors online, and my own doctors, and I feel very stuck and unsure of what to do so I'll ask here! It's possible I might have a mild case but I still am struggling so I'd like to see what y'all think. I've been having irritation in my penis, along with tingling around my scrotum (though that has dropped off), a moist feeling on the penis head while being upright, general irritation on/inside the head like light spasms or a stinging feeling/twinge. Here's my story:

It started in February of this year. Back in December 2020 I had pretty much gotten addicted to weed, I was smoking several times a day and it had become my main hobby. Around the end of December, I had unprotected sex with a friend of mine, and received unprotected oral. It was on 12/20, 12/28, and 1/6. I felt totally fine for almost 2 months, but then at the end of Jan my smoking habit got very bad. It started interfering with my sleep and ability to eat, so I decided to quit. I quit smoking, but then started using weed oil to help me sleep. But then it got really bad where I used the oil throughout the day instead of just to sleep. So I was basically high all the time still, just on oil.

Then in the middle of Feb I realized what I was doing so I decided to quit that too. And then my body started doing weird stuff, like: sweating at night, tinnitus, vivid dreams (which I still have), heaviness in my chest like a huge weight (which I do still have a bit), aching in my muscles and joints, quite a bit of stuff that started to make me freak out very much. I started thinking about my unprotected encounter, but I resolved to get tested on a set date and not worry about it. That didn't last long as on 2/19 I decided to smoke to celebrate there being nothing wrong with my ears (I had seen an ENT). BIG mistake, as then my anxiety kicked into high gear. I had a panic attack, and noticed a dull ache in my right testicle. I panicked a little bit but went to sleep.

The ache didn't go away the next day, so I went to a clinic. They noted nothing really wrong except some abnormalities in my urine, like trace blood, ketones, and bilirubin. I freaked out big-time thinking I had cancer or something (in reality it might have been because I was barely eating, due to my extremely low appetite from withdrawal). So I went to a local ER and they did bloodwork and whatnot and tested me. Urinalysis ended up being fine at the hospital, and bloodwork was fine. They discharged me. My tests for HIV and Syphilis came back negative that night, so then I thought I must have Gono or Chlamydia.

The next day when I woke up, the symptoms that have vexed me ever since then began. I noticed my penis felt like it was being squeezed, and there was a sensation on this inside, like a leaking or crawling kind of feeling. I thought that I must be discharging, and that it must be an STI. I went back to the hospital and they gave me empiric treatment for the STDs that hadn't come back yet. I went on Doxycycline for one week.

That week things seemed to improve. The tests came back negative. I still kept thinking I had an STD but the genital discomfort had gone away. Then it came back about a week later. I took a urethral swab culture with my doctor and we found E. faecalis, which I went on penicillin for. I started the penicillin and things went away a few days in. This was on about 3/7 maybe, and then I made the huge mistake of smoking weed with some friends on 3/13 as I was feeling good and thought I'd be fine. Big mistake as my paranoia about STDs came back and I was in huge pain just from smoking.

The symptoms came back a few days later, and thus I took another culture from my doctor. The e. faecalis this time had "scant growth" so I went on penicillin AGAIN near the end of the month. Then, symptoms went away a few days into it and stayed gone from 4/1 through pretty much all of April. I thought that was it, that 1. it was the e. faecalis bacteria in my urethra somehow or 2. it was related to weed and my brain needing to recalibrate my penis or something, as around this time I started having a lot of wet dreams, even during a nap on 3/31.

Unfortunately I didn't enjoy my symptom-free month of April as I was still convinced I had an STD and kept getting tested again and again. Then I freaked out about having mycoplasma on 5/1 and then yep, symptoms came back. More crawling feeling and a tingling around my scrotum, and a sensitivity on the right side near my pubic bone. Distressed, I went to the ER again and I was put on Flagyl incase it was Trich. It wasn't, as the Flagyl didn't necessarily improve things.

Took another culture with my doctor on 5/7 and there was E. Faecalis, heavy growth, and prevotella loescheii, moderate growth. So I went on more penicillin and flagyl. A culture taken a week later revealed no growth, on 5/26 I think. I also went to see a urologist in NYC and he told me it was possible I was having residual symptoms due to the E. faecalis and to not dwell, and let my body heal. I fear maybe he didn't get the full picture (I even typed a whole timeline sheet but I'm not sure he read it).

So, my current urologist in my area is not really concerned. He does not think I have prostatitis as there's no pain in my perineum, and when he examined my prostate, he said it felt normal. There was also no pain on the tip of my penis when he pressed it, of course the procedure was uncomfortable but no pain I really noticed. This was a couple months ago.

So, I decided to go on offense and take probiotics, exercise, and meditate, and things seemed to kind of improve from June till now. Things seemed more mild and transient. Unfortunately though the other night I did some psychedelic mushrooms as I thought it may improve my mood, but it didn't. I started getting really stressed about my condition, I got really angry and frustrated that I was still dealing with it, and then things started coming back. My penis head started feeling really irritated.

So, at this point I feel very low and frustrated with things. I think daily about suicide because I don't know if I'll ever get better. It's just very perplexing because things are very mild and I don't have pain, so I don't know what I'm dealing with. Ejaculating and drinking coffee and eating spicy food usually has been feeling fine, though the other day and last night when I ejaculated I felt very uncomfortable afterwards, like I had to pee immediately and just some stinging in general that went away a little while after. And when I did pee, I felt some stinging inside when getting all the pee out. It was brief but still painful.

So now, I usually will feel irritation in my penis while driving on the way to work. There's some light tingling around my scrotum but it doesn't last long. My penis appears totally fine, no redness or anything. My morning wood is super variable, though usually I'll get one if I drink enough water before going to bed. I haven't been very horny, but I usually don't have any ED issues except for during May. I'm on my feet usually during work (I love my job, it isn't stressful) and I will often feel a wet spot feeling on my penis in my underwear. If I inspect (I only will when I have to pee, as I don't want to feed my OCD), there will be some moisture near the tip but nothing noticeably oozing out or filled with pus or anything.

I'm extremely stressed and paranoid. I still have very vivid dreams and my chest is heavy often. I thought maybe my symptoms were residual as recently I would feel some light tingling sensations around the shaft of the penis. Today I felt some light stinging in the penis but it was very brief, while sitting down. I'm sitting down right now and the only thing I feel is some penile irritation, almost like something is sitting in it. In the morning I usually don't feel anything, though it doesn't make a difference if I'm lying down or not as sometimes I'll feel a twinge in the morning or at night. Last time I showered I noticed not too much, but while freshening up I felt a couple little twinges in my penis and when I looked down there was some liquid in the opening, not dripping out but just kinda there.... I'm not sure what to think there, I don't know if that's discharge?

I'm sorry this is so long, I know my story is probably mild compared to others on here. It's just perplexing as I have no real pain, just constant discomfort that will dip and dive. I desire most to get back to normal. I'm on doxy again as another urologist I saw for a second opinion said there must be something irritating my penis, just hard to say what it might be. I'm not very confident it'll help. But I'm curious what someone here might think... this whole thing has taken over my mind, I have such a hard time being happy and not dwelling on it, I wish I were dead every day because I feel like my body is cursed. I just want to get back to normal. I usually am not a stressed person but everything I've had going on this year has destroyed my mind with unimaginable stress and I wonder if it's destroyed my body.

I'm not sure what to do but I'll try anything if It'll get me back to normal. I'd love to hear any input, thank you!

[webslave]

1. Cannabis smoking has been identified as a UCPPS trigger, so that's probably how your case started.
2. You are exhibiting signs of Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and OCD, both conditions are quite prevalent in UCPPS patients and tend to cause circular thinking and catastrophism, and that delays or prevents cure.
3. Stop taking antibiotics, you don't have an infection. The 5-6 week gap between your sexual encounter and the first vague testicular symptoms rules that out.
4. Moisture seen in the meatus of the penis is NOT a discharge.
5. You should see a psychologist and/or psychiatrist to get help controlling your anxiety and obsessive thinking.

[indecisiveman]

Thank you webslave. I've been reading the posts on here regarding mind-body healing and how this issue is likely psychological/psychosomatic in nature and I'm very amazed. If there's one thing I notice, is that if I'm with friends or at work having a good convo with my coworkers, symptoms disappear. I honestly got very impatient and had racing thoughts the other night and naturally symptoms came back. I can't help but feel very impatient but it seems the key is to know that you're fine and nothing is wrong. Today I've just had some tingling and some penile irritation and having to pee a little bit but I'm going to exercise and try and relax. I also got Quercetin so maybe that'll help? And I also think I'll stop the doxy as I have no evidence of any infections. I had a good momentum going so I just need to get it back again.

[webslave]

Quercetin may help, yes.

It's worth mentioning, and I do now and then, that for many men pelvic pain is a psychosomatic disorder, which is not to say it's made up, because it isn't, but that the mind has a big part to play in its existence and severity.
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/d ... c-disorder

[indecisiveman]

I see, would you say this is in my head? Seems like it only appeared or got worse when I stressed so bad... it's still been very frustrating, today I have some irritation on the head and there's a little bit of that squeezing feeling. Before I took shrooms the other night I was actually at a bearable level, just a wet feeling on the head pretty much. I wonder if the wet feeling was just nerves because it rarely is actually wet. Right now as of this writing I have that irritated, almost like a raw feeling. Also, I do still have heaviness in my chest and a pained left knee which started about a 1.5 months ago and got bad after getting stressed again. It's warm to the touch, even through my pants. I'm able to sit just fine and eat spicy food and drink caffeine so I can't help but be thankful for that. I'm going to try to distract myself all this week and really get it straight in my head that this is not permanent and that I can recover eventually.

[webslave]

There may be something in your lifestyle or environment that has triggered the pelvic symptoms, but the mind is fully capable of magnifying that into a pain syndrome. It's smart to get knowledgeable about all the things that can cause irritation and pain down there, starting with stress that causes unconscious tensing of the pelvic floor.

[indecisiveman]

Well here's an update, today has been alright for the most part. I did an hour and a half drive to see some friends, and on the way I did have some irritation but it went away when not focusing on it... then while hanging out didn't feel too bad. I was hanging out with my friends pretty much until now. I notice that the more I de-stressed throughout the day, the less irritation I would feel, and I also felt some weird little brief vibrations around the butthole and near the perineum (I read somewhere on here that fasculations like his are actually a good thing? freeing tension?) . I'll have some weird little sensations around my penis and the base, but if I ignore it it goes away really quick. I'm going to keep telling myself that I'm safe no matter what, and I'm taking a hard stance- no more antibiotics, no more inspecting my groin, no more touching to see if the spot is wet or something, no more of any of that. I also had a urologist appt I could have gone to yesterday, but I didn't go. I'm not going to see my urologists or my doctor or to the ER anymore, it obviously just fuels my anxiety and catastrophic thinking, and urologists at least in this area are extremely limited in their scope. They just seem to want to prescribe antibiotics but if I had an infection then it obviously would have gotten worse or shown up positive on a culture (an actual urine culture after prostate exam in May revealed nothing). I'm doing my best to breathe with my stomach, un-tense my butt and pelvis, and tell myself everything is fine. I'll post an update in a month but I'm already feeling like I'm getting some momentum back.

Also some more spiritual type things to note: A friend of mine said it very well might be a spiritual thing since I am medically fine, and said I should "try dancing it all out" as I would love to go out and dance before COVID hit. Has anyone found success in positive-based exercise like this? Also, my dreams have still been very vivid, and I don't sleep super well. I had a weird dream about my father the other day (long story short we don't get along, for years, bad falling out etc). I wondered if maybe this unresolved sort of trauma-type-thing (like what was mentioned in the top post mentioning mindbody healing) had an effect. I thought about my feelings toward him and my anger and displeasure, and literally felt a cold sensation run slowly through my pelvis.... very interesting! I also had a strange dream about sex the other night... I'm prone to strange dreams filled with sexual anxiety for years, and I wonder if there's some energy there as I've been very weirdly at-odds with my own sexuality. I've been coming out as asexual as I've never really enjoyed it but I still find other people sexually attractive and I get very excited at the prospect of someone wanting to be with me romantically or sexually. Thankfully I can get erections at will and in the morning. Anyway, I wonder if there's some energy related to this in that realm. Or maybe I'm just thinking out loud.

Admin comment: moving in the right direction ...

[indecisiveman]

Just some quick notes from today, an attempt at a day where I try to feel good and not dwell. Maybe it'll help someone here reading:

I already feel a little better than yesterday. Yesterday while driving it felt like my foreskin had been pulled back an uncomfortable amount. But I refused to touch it and engage with it. Today I felt fine most of the day, some slight irritation, like an uncomfortable feeling inside. I got home from driving a friend to the train station, and laid down for like an hour face-down. I did some very deep-stomach-breathing exercises, and felt something interesting: It felt like my lower back was extending, or releasing an incredible amount of tension. Then when I went to the bathroom afterward, I was astounded: my urine stream was how it used to be, very strong! It hasn't been super weak with all this, but not as strong as it used to be. This was a big change. I'm doing my best to not tense my pelvis. I noticed while sitting here (I usually sit in the same spot during the day at home, I dub it the "depression chair") I felt a string along the foreskin on the tip I think. It popped in and out really quick and I didn't dwell, now it's gone.

Slight sensitivity by the pubic bone persists. Some weird little tingles fluctuate around my pelvis. Some fasculations by the taint and rectum. Also, I ate some indian food today and it didn't necessarily cause a "flare up" or anything. Maybe it's the spicyness of the food, but after those exercises today I've noticed I'm able to fart. Now that I think about it, I haven't farted much all year. Webslave, any comment on a lack of farting? Maybe pelvis clenching prevents it? Very interesting... I also had my first bowel movement without having had coffee beforehand in about 1.5 months. Also, I don't have urinary frequency but sometimes while standing or sitting I'll feel a need to pee at the tip, but not in the bladder. If I disregard it it'll go away, happened yesterday while driving.... made me think I really had to go when I didn't. Common symptom?

Sorry, these notes were not quick lol BUT I think I'm making some progress. I already feel a little better than yesterday. I'll keep it going and I've kept my vow to not take any more antibiotics, but I am taking Quecertin and probiotcs, as well as fish oil and CBD. I also take hydroxyzine at night to help me sleep. But overall had a good day with friends and have vowed not to dwell so hard on things. Onward and hopefully upward!

[webslave]

Passing gas easily, urinating easily, fasciculations, caffeine-free defecation, these all indicate a relaxing hypertonic pelvic floor.

Yes, frequency is a consequence of a tense pelvic floor (nerve cross-talk).

Just keep going the way you are, and a cure is guaranteed. No need to watch it like you are though, let the hypervigilance with respect to your condition start to fade too. There will be ups and downs, just ride them out.

[indecisiveman]

Thank you webslave, this is super encouraging and makes me confident that I'm on the way to being cured and not to worry- especially with all the experience you have on this forum. This'll be my last post until an update in a little while as I don't want to spam. Anyway I can actually pass gas and defecate well without coffee at this point, and yesterday at work (I usually am standing at work) I noticed some transient vibrations in my pelvis near my rectum. And when I do the breathing exercises I literally feel all the tension in my pelvis, basically running along my buttocks. After doing a good walk today I felt a bunch of vibrations in my butt and legs. And I can now consciously feel when I'm clenching my pelvis, it's difficult at the moment to have it be relaxed but I can actually tell when I'm doing it. Yesterday and today I feel 10x better than I did when I had my last flare up. I'm working on being less hypervigilant (didn't think about anything at work yesterday and felt nothing- no wet spot feeling, just those vibrations).

Anyway I'll post an update in a while. Thanks for all your advice and encouragement. I'm confident I can get through this.

Admin comment:

[indecisiveman]

Unfortunately I'm having a difficult time convincing my mind I don't have an STD. As of right now I don't feel much of anything but I've felt very depressed today, maybe that's contributing. But I guess I need some reassurance, my mind keeps going back to Mgen as it's the devil for me (hard to detect, grows slow, common but not talked about etc) I tested negative for it twice in May. I guess I just need reassurance.... an STD wouldn't just linger like these symptoms, right? and they would get worse over time? And would have appeared sooner to the date of my encounter, right? I also forgot to mention I had a weird case of balanitis in March, where I had some rashy splotches on my penis head and the foreskin was really red and itchy. It went away after I did the penicillin and never came back. I guess I just need to really convince myself. An infection would be much more obvious and would have actually caused me pain by now, right? When I got out of the shower today and squeezed my penis, a little bit of liquid came out, almost like it was leftover pee or something but that confuses me... it also had no odor or anything in it. This is very difficult!! Though scrotum tingling I know is NOT an Mgen symptom and is more in line with CPPS, correct?

On the plus side when I did my breathing exercises last night those "movements" I described shifted down near my testicles, almost near the taint or something. Hard to tell but I wonder if that was a progression. When doing the exercise the first 10 times I had to struggle to relax the sphincter muscles but at a certain point they stayed "out" instead of tensed "in" if that makes any sense. Anyway I apologize I'm just looking for reassurance so I don't fly off the handle and go waste more money getting tested for stuff that will probably come back negative anyway.

[webslave]

I'm getting burned out by the hypervigilance of the posters here. I'm going to take a day or two off answering.

[indecisiveman]

That's really understandable, I got caught in a very hyper vigilant loop the other day... weirdly enough on Friday I didn't have much sensations going on down there but my chest was KILLING me, I was so exhausted and stressed and tired and after that I've connected some dots actually to CPPS. First thing is that an infection wouldn't do this kind of stuff. An infection gets worse over time and doesn't get worse with stress, which is what CPPS does.

Also, I did some deep breathing while laying on my side yesterday morning trying to calm down.... and noticed my urethra (inside, like around where the bladder is?) felt like it was burning, and my left testicle started hurting really badly even though it wasn't in a bad position. That along with irritation spasms only really happening when I'm driving at this point makes me think it's all tension related. If I had an infection since February it wouldn't have appeared overnight and it wouldn't just linger for 6 months. I would be in significantly more pain.

So I'm trying to mentally better myself. I have heaviness in my chest and a lot of twitching in my arms and legs which I think points to tension and stress along with sleeping poorly, and being tired a lot.... I'm trying a little fast experiment where I'm only drinking a smoothie at the beginning of the day and the end. That way maybe if there is some bacteria or something I could flush it out.... probably doesn't make much sense but I'm continuing the breathing exercises no matter what. I can't help but feel really discouraged but maybe things “flaring up” or still continuing is part of the recovery process. There's also the factor that I had a lot of precum coming from the penis when things first started, and it seems like that's related to tension as well re: the pelvic muscles squeezing the prostate and ejecting precum.

Symptoms appear when: I'm stressed, or driving mainly. When I'm at work or with friends, barely/none. I also feel really inspired by the one success post of the man who decided to start biking again and got his life back. He healed BECAUSE he got his life back. and I feel really motivated by that. A friend of mine basically told me the same thing, that if I wait to heal before living my life then I'll never heal.

And a last note, symptoms went away in April which coincidentally is when I got my covid vaccination. I've noticed there's some overlap here on the forum with users getting sick or something and having CPPS symptoms dive way down before coming back, as if their body is distracted by something. Anyway, I'm going to keep going and really focus on de-stressing.

[indecisiveman]

One last thing I noticed: When I press on my right abdomen (along the belt line by the right hip bone) I can feel a sting or twinge in my penis weirdly enough. I noticed this a while back and didn’t think much of it but it’s pretty consistent now. Is this a “trigger point”? Should I massage the area and see if it helps? This makes me more convinced it’s all related to tension in my pelvis and not an actual infection

[webslave]

It's obviously not an infection, and yes, that could be a trigger point, especially if it's referring pain.

Read up on iliacus and psoas muscles.