CPPS is taking my life from me (Brett's Case)

[BrettP]

Yea traffic is brutal. Btw for anyone who reads. The Valium I took literally saved my ass the other night. I took 15mg. Knocked me out I woke up better.

[BrettP]

Ok folks I'm an idiot.

Ok, so I smoked some doobage yesterday, and, I didn't necessarily freak out. But I started to have all these destructive/evil thoughts. Things I was thinking about my life could turn into that disgust me. How I could be careless and "throw it all away". I just feel awful. And today is the day after and I feel similar, like I'm goin nuts or something. Could the weed still be having an impact on me? What do you think? I rarely smoke. And those are not big sessions, just a bit here and a bit there. Just worried I'm goin nuts.

All the stress is causing a bad flare. Anyone know WTF is going on or have any ideas? I tossed my ganja out. I know it's a trigger for the chemicals in the smoke but this anxiety and bad thoughts are terrible. Any help would be appreciated.

[webslave]

Be careful. Not only is cannabis associated with flares, but long term use is also linked to psychosis.

[BrettP]

Yea the funny thing is I barely used it at all. I think my brain chemicals were all messed up and I will be better in a few days. Just gunna take some time I think. I feel better today just depressed, the flare symptoms have gone away as well

Another point is that my benzouse was high and since damped down. I could be withdrawing from it.

[carld]

Pot would give me panic attacks...been 15 years since I last smoked it...Stay away from it. It typically doesn't work for our sub group.

[BrettP]

Today I actually feel a lot better. The internal dialogue seems to have stopped and I'm better able to concentrate. I think it depressed my serotonin levels and they take a couple days to get right.

[chillysun]

Hi Brett! Welcome to the forum! I just think it would be nice to come by and tell you my story, so maybe it will cheer you up a bit.

You're not alone with this shitty disorder. I am a medical student, finishing this year my MD. I got hit with prostatitis when I was burnt out, stressed out and depressed during my surgical rotation. One year ago. I'm a type A personality that goes so well with this disease. I've been through freaking hell, I can tell you. I was in constant pain. There was a time when walking was painful...walking 100m was tough...I had burning with urination et forget ejaculations, that brings me pain for 2-3days for sure...fuck this was tough, I even became suicidal...One year later, I still have pain every day, except that I control my symptoms better. I had some painfree days...was able to go back to the gym without aggravating my symptoms...urgency seems to keep going down...pain with ejaculation is better. I still have days that hurts like hell, and those days are the toughest, because fear and anxiety comes back. I do every day stretches and I take 2 hot baths. I've started physical therapy and I try to relax my pelvic floor all day long. I have notice like many here that stress, ruminations and depression brings back my symptoms...It's the main problem for me.

Globally I feel better and I feel hope that one day I'll be symptoms free...by the way, I have the same problems with fissure...I think it comes from the pelvic floor muscle spasms that make it difficult to pass bowel... I have this problem since chronic prostatitis / chronic pelvic pain syndrome kicked in...try more fiber and water and hot bath helps...

Finally, just to let you know that it was really tough for me. I remember times crying in my car coming back from work and thinking that my life was over. It still happens when a big flare up hits me...but like I said, I'm better now. This disease has changed me profoundly and has changed my way of seeing things in life...I'm a different person now. I'm trying to love myself for who I am (still working on that ;) ). Nobody can understand what it is to have this pain disorder before dealing personally with it. Sometimes that's what I find the most difficult, feeling alone with this...

I hope it helps!! Feel free to ask me questions
(PS: my urologist told me that 70% are getting better with time, so stats are on our side :) ) )

[BrettP]

Chillysun... YUP, changes the way you look at life profoundly, I'll double up on that! Hope you get better buddy, you will.

Folks, I am severely fucked up. I have been drinking some very string booze. I feel fuckin fantastic!

Lol

can't say I'm not craving the ganja and my favorite pink floyd album... Because I am. But, let it be known across the innnnnnertubes that I am feelin groovy, I am completely drunk off my ass, and my CPPS is numbed out of existence!!!

Sorry for the bad typing, I'm literally wasted beyond... For all those suffering. Have a drink on me.. If I could pay your bar tab I would.

Anything beats struggling over this shit over new years. May 2011 prove fruitful for us.

HAPPY NEW YEAR FOLKS!!!!!

[BrettP]

Been feeling acceptable over the past month. I woke up yesterday with horrible cramping in buttocks. Like the glute muscle. Today it's the same. I thought it was sciatica. But I don't know what this is it's dreadful though. Feels like s Charlie horse in my butt muscle. The cramps come on and then leave. Anyone here have something similar? Think it could be chronic prostatitis / chronic pelvic pain syndrome related? I'm hoping it will go away but I'm not confident based on what ibe read on the net. Specifically on priformis syndrome.

[BrettP]

So my buddy offers me a toke last night and I partake. One hit.

I was in agony all night and I still feel awful today. Lots of bladder pain. I don't get it. This is the third time I've experienced such horror but why would it hurt even into next day? God this is such a miserable condition. Usually it's cleared up by now I wonder if I did permanent damage this time.
Also not sure how such a small amount can cause so much discomfort.

[carld]

Brett..."Pain will be your teacher"!Stop puffing herb...Men with our disorder get panic attacks which cause tightening of muscles and so on...So no wonder you flared your self.

Also I would say you are no where close to getting your underlined anxiety under control through cognitive work and relaxation and all the options we suggest here. Your taking steps back not forward in reading your history here. It's time to re-think how you are approaching managing your UCPPS...

Just my opinion...

Best

[BrettP]

I agree I wasn't even thinking about the consequences. You think it will go away? This is the worst day I feel like screaming. I have been stretching and exercising and all that regularly. Just this is causing me great agony.

[BrettP]

Life had been good since new year. I even won a bunch of money on the super bowl. And then this. Just blows my mind I could be so foolish. Hopefully the setback isn't permanent I'm freaking out.

And for anyone reading this learn your lesson from my mistakes. Marijuana isn't Medicine. It's a drug. And if you have our personality trait you will regret even the tiniest insignificant little puff.

[BrettP]

Well a couple days passed and the symptom that was creaking me out has calmed down but the usual ones are still around. Gas bloating constipation causing bladder pain... The usual. However the usual ain't so bad compared to the unusual. I think I'm going to try a new diet I need to eat some more fruit I've been to heavy into the meats/fat etc not really eating all that well using the fact that I exercise as an excuse to eat what I want. Hopefully I will see some progress with that over the next couple weeks. Time will tell ... Pain is a terrific teacher... Thanks for that line Carl... Lol

[BrettP]

So today I had an enormous hard bm. And this bm I think was pressing on my bladder. So after I had a big poop I got the usual frequency. However I have been blocked up for weeks with hard stools. And I can feel another big one moving down the sigmoid causing more pressure. I have started to change my diet to soften them up. But no luck so far.