Need some relationship advice guys

[calguy]

No one else to really talk to about this issue so thought I would post it. I have been in relationship for a year and have been putting up with things that i would never deal with before this all happend. I guess I am just scared to be alone and she is crazy but atleast she deals with my condition, (Which has been getting much better and I am doing pretty good). I think the stress may be making things worse though and that is not good. She is smoking hot too which makes me think I am thinking with wrong head! I'm just afraid to let go and try the dating scene again. Should I hold on a little longer to get better or just kill it now. I figure another 6 months I will be doing really well. Just frusterated guys . . . . . . .

[webslave]

What exactly is wrong with your current partner?

[calguy]

She is extremely jealous and I have to call her all the time to make her feel secure. If i dont pick up phone she goes crazy. She is just so insecure and no matter what I do she just doesnt get it and change. When we are together everything is great and we are really happy. As I type this it sounds pretty silly. Also she is a little supperficial and that bugs me too, hell she just paid 5000 for boobs and really has no money and lives with family. I guess what I am saying is I would not be with her if I didn't have this condition and wasn't afraid of being alone.

[webslave]

As you say, she sounds very insecure (new boobs, jealousy) and also may have low self esteem.

Generally, if one finds oneself within an unsatisfying relationship there are 2 options: try to fix it, or move on. Only you can know what the right decision is. She may improve with some counselling or if you communicate with her more and reassure her (which would be difficult because you clearly are not committed to her). But perhaps she already senses your lack of commitment to her, and this just reinforces her insecurity. So moving on is probably best.

I think you've already made your decision and just want us to confirm that by leaving her you are doing the right thing.

[carld]

If her boobs are not natural...then you should end it today...

This is a quality problem if I ever heard one. BTW...Most hot chicks are very insecure.

All healthy relationships come down to a few things really......It starts with creating a human connection that empowers compassionate giving and receiving. I learned all of this through nonviolent communication.

If both of you can differentiate observations from evaluations

...." I've noticed that you seem upset about something, is there something you would like to talk about or that I can help you with" ( instant get laid... ) vs. "your acting like a bitch!!"

Differentiating feeling from thinking... " I feel hurt and scared when we don't talk to each other" vs " you don't care about me or show me how much you love me"

Connecting with each other's basic universal human needs...

Then in a healthy way requesting what you or she likes in a way that clearly states what you both want with out it being a demand..... " I'm feeling a need for connection and closeness, so when there is time, can we sit down and talk because I would really like to know you better" vs........." My old boyfriend use to bang me all the time like a stud and tell me how hot I am...why can't you do that?" ( That's always a great one to hear...infact I can't think of a better way to feel connected to a woman then that)

Bottom line ...do you love her and do you know how to tell her that in a healthy way? Her needs clearly are not being met and are your needs being met?

Peace...