more on anxiety

[scoobysnacks]

Okay, so I've been experiencing what I think is anxiety/stress more in my heart, stomach than ever before. Its making not hungry and just uneasy, like I have to take a breath. This only occurs when things at work/home get heated up. For instance my company got served with subpeonas today and I have to prep our CEO for depositions, and my wife and I got in a big fight about the offer that was made on our other place. I want to accept it after a few back and forths, and she still wants to reject it. Anyways, we arent speaking right now.

I feel very stressed, tired, anxious. I never got this even through law school etc.

Is it possible that since I'm no longer clencing my pelvic/perineum that these symptoms are now manifesting themselves more physically in other areas.

My concern is that I'm getting worse with age in the the stress/anxiety department since I never used to feel these things.

Your thoughts would be great.

SS

[carld]

You never experienced these things because and I'm guessing that in your early twenties life was not what it is now. What I mean is before you were not married and you did not have the big job, you were working out and having a ball doing what you love to do so you were not really challenged in any "major " life drags ( I could be wrong, this is just my input to help). Don't get me wrong bro, I'm sure you had stress in the earlier years but compared to now, owning property, being married, thinking about supporting a family if you don't have kids yet. As we get older our reality becomes more real and our dreams well... they are dreams and we try to hold on to them and do what we can. You are only 28 so you are still very young, you are doing great and you have helped me deal with this lame thing we all have, but what we know is this is about stress and anxiety. Every person has it. People deal with it in different ways. Look at all our male friends that we grew up with. How many of them do you know that still party real hard? What do you think that's about? It's not like it was when we were kids partying and it was new and fun and being young. Lots of these men are trying to hold on to what was and deal with their anxiety by partying. The sad thing is that most of these men don't know they are stressed because they mask it every night by having drinks and puffing herb. I'm no sober freak kind of guy either. I want to have my vodka/tonics which I stopped since I got this fucken thing and some day I would like to have one after getting the shit kicked out of me by work and life's stresses. I'm 38 so I'm grateful for still being able to play drums and do live shows in LA after working 50 plus hrs a week and supporting my wife and 2 beautiful little ones so what I'm trying to say is life is not easy when you " become a man" it's hard our fears are real. What you are dealing with is real and by facing it like you are you are a man by talking about it.

Now go and make up with your Wife, She is your support system and let her know you love her and find a happy stop point you both agree on to sell the damn thing and then let it all go, life is short...Peace/ out

[webslave]

Let me quickly interject that if I were in the US housing market, I'd get out as soon as I could. My gut feeling is that the market is starting a long decline. This could be extremely stressful if you're holding investment property.

When I get overwhelmed by stress I take a ¼ or ½ of a 5mg Diazepam (Valium) tab. More knocks me out for 2 days.

[HelpADude]

You are ONLY 28, young fellow.

I do find it interesting that most folks develop the symptoms during mid-30s (I'm 36). I think this is when most guy run into their very first real "mid-life crisis".

[perth]

Scooby,

There's a whole bunch of theories about the way anxiety is experienced. One dichotomy often use is between symptoms we experience somatically (tension), and those we experience cognitively (negative thoughts). Of course, most of us get both, but we also tend to have more of one than another. If you're a somatic-tendency person, then maybe, as we get older, these symptoms are harder to move. Likewise, a racing heart is ok when we're 25 and amped up - or just plain able to handle it - but not when we're older (older of course being associated with less fit and robust).

Another issue is the attention issue. There's good evidence that anxiety relates to the tendency to attend to threatening stimuli in the environment. So spider phobics spot spiders well before everyone else (since they're scanning the world for such stimuli). So given your (and my) horrible symptoms, it's not surprising that a tight chest and racing heart that was there when we were younger, but that we didn't attend to, is now the focus of attention. After all, our body let us down once, right? If it's a worry definitely see a Dr to check you're physically alright, then I'd suggest a Psychologist who can help you re-train yourself.

Keep at it.

[GP2]

I get tension symptoms in other parts of my body i.e chest nearly as much as in my pelvis. When one area plays up the other one quietens down. Remember there is often a delay effect with stress symptoms - I get symptoms weeks after episodes of worrying about chronic prostatitis / chronic pelvic pain syndrome for example.

I do think you guys are right but I also think the "finding yourself" period of your twenties compared to the usually more at ease with yourself thirties is just as stressful. In fact I found teenage years some of the most stressful (and enjoyable) in my life

Greg

[Clay]

You're pretty brave, putting your life up here for everyone to examine! The thing that struck me is that you are only 28, and you've already completed your law degree, married, started your career with a high visibility job, bought and sold real estate, and you're staying up all hours doing physical labor. I don't know you, obviously, but based on these facts, you sound very driven. It sounds like you've created a high stress life style for yourself and it's taking a toll.

[scoobysnacks]

I appreciate everyone's input.

I'm not concerned about the anxiety/heart racing from a health standpoint, other than this condition, I'm healthy. I mean sure, over the years something like that will take its toll, and I'm working on it. I was just concerned that before I never realized it/felt it. I think carld was mostly right though, up until I got this condition life was pretty much smooth sailing. Its funny carld put it that way, because that's how I viewed it too, I was having the time of my life, not really a true care in the world. I didn't have a dime to my name, I drove a 1990 car, no house, no bills, lived at home, went to school, partied, hung out with my girlfriend and lifted weights. In retrospect, I guess it was pretty care-free. But, the interesting part is though, that would also be the years that this condition was developing so. So what my concern was I must have felt stress then or else I wouldn't have been clenching? No?

Maybe now I am just noticing it more as my job stress as picked up and all this stuff surrounding our properties.

As an aside, we did agree to a price and countered, its not what we wanted to get out of it, but entering the cold months here in the states no one would buy anyways, so that would be another 5,000 out of our pockets, so even if we got the amount that is fair, it would be a zero sum game, I got that through to my wife finally. Ill know friday whether the offer is accepted.

Thanks for you thoughts on this. It just helps to sometimes put things in writing and get others perspectives.

Regards,

SS

[BrettP]

Anxiety is a bitch man. I understand what you mean. I put my self in the stress slingshot, and the next thing you know, I crash landed, and hard.

In 2007 I did or went through the following in a 5 month stretch:

Got married
Grandfather stroked/heart attacked
High stress job, which I quit to enter another high stress job
Stressful vacation where I almost got killed by a speeding vehicle in Mexico, plus got very ill during vacation with no treatment.
Moved from a house with my college roommates into a 1 bedroom apartment with the wife.
Bought a new car, going to buy wife a new car (and for a tightwad like me this is a VERY difficult task)
Changed all my habits and routines, especially sleeping and "personal" time.
Greater financial obligations
Don't see my male friends that often anymore

AND I WONDER WHY I'm HAVING PROBLEMS!!!! I think the big lesson I have learned is to take life slow, and make changes gradually over time. I had this big idea of human chess in my head, and I was moving the pieces like a grandmaster, and it was working, in fact, the sheer reality of what i pulled off was quite amazing, but the after effects long lasting. And the only one I checkmated was myself, my blitzkrieg offence failed me. Had I known then, what I know now, I would have eased into this "new" life.

Did anyone else have any situation where there were a lot of changes before there symptoms began, or before the "trigger" hit?

[superuse]

Change of Jobs, marriage/new gf, death of relatives/siblings/parents are all on the top list of additional stresses prior to onset most report. Since you have all three in addition to the ibs symptoms we can probably put you in the high probable category for pelvic floor problems, regardless of your exercise history.

The concept of "blitzkrieg", "moving chess pieces of life in your head like a grandmaster" (perfectionist, control issues), and difficult stress trying to buy some cars (gotta get the absolute best (perfect) price within 1000 miles), and tightwad stuff may be traits of an obsessive compulsive type personality, with a higher vulnerability to obsessive compulsive disorder ( also very common with CPPS).

The added stress of Montezuma's revenge (if that's what it was) probably didn't help either.


--jjf

[BrettP]

Yea man, I can see that now in retrospect. Plus my job is stressuful, I'm thinking about taking a vacation to test whether work is the main precursor to the symptoms, just completely stop working on my personal business, and on my regular job, and see what happens. I'm not in that much pain, but it does wax and wane, although I feel the symptoms are usually there. I'm hoping that more relaxation will lead to increased success. From what I understand, thats the main issue. Also, letting go of some of the control issues (easier said than done right?). but well see, seems like I'm just starting this journey.

Its also funny is that I feel marginally better on the weekend. Does anyone else experience the same phenomenon (better on weekends, worse on weekdays?).

Brett

[carld]

I'm hoping that more relaxation will lead to increased success. From what I understand, thats the main issue.

Very true over time and work with relaxation...

Its also funny is that I feel marginally better on the weekend. Does anyone else experience the same phenomenon (better on weekends, worse on weekdays?).

This is common just shows the stress disorder of this condition...That's where most urologists miss CP/CPPS pathology because it lies in our brains which feeds the disease....