I feel anxiety drove me to this
Posted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 5:48 pm
Hi all,
This seems like a great place to go for confession and support and ideas for improvement. My story is similar to many on this board. Last fall, around late September I went on a business trip. Long story short, I had a lap dance with a stripper. I was very inebriated. Next morning I felt tremendous guilt about what I had done. (I am happily married with two great kids). By the end of the day I was in full blown Anxiety/OCD about the thought of HIV. I went berserk inside my head. I did not tell my wife of what I had done and was convinced that I had HIV. Even 2 days after the 'event', I felt I had it. I can't explain how anxious and depressed I became, all the while hiding this from my family, surfing the net for 'symptoms', even going as far as what my company would do for medical leave. All of this in one week. After that it became much worse, I started to get abdominal pains, followed by burning, pinching and tingling in my groin, legs, and buttocks. Even my arms and face tingled. I went to the STD clinic 4 times in 4 months, my GP countless times, and hours and hours on the internet looking at STD symptoms. I (and this is a fact, not a generalization) cried my eyes out at least 3 times a day for 7 months, worried about losing my wife, my kids and life as I knew it, all over a lap dance. 5 months of suffering from burning groin and thighs and allodynia in my buttocks, my penis started to 'vibrate inside' like a cell phone was held up to it. Then the tip started to become Hypersensitive, I couldn't stand clothing touching it. And then the urethra started to burn and the glans turned red, especially at the very tip (MEATUS). I was now (and still a little obsessed) that I caught Herpes.
11 months after this whole affair, I am still stressed and anxious, but not to the degree I was, numerous STD tests, psychiatric visit, psychologist visits and this website have brought me down a lot. I still have tingling in my buttocks, scrotum and thighs, as well as a weird sensation from my left buttock, through my coccyx and over to my right buttock a bit, hard to describe, kind of numb, prickly. Tip sensitivity and burning urethra that comes and goes, but mainly when sitting. No lesions or blisters a la herpes.
This sucks.
This seems like a great place to go for confession and support and ideas for improvement. My story is similar to many on this board. Last fall, around late September I went on a business trip. Long story short, I had a lap dance with a stripper. I was very inebriated. Next morning I felt tremendous guilt about what I had done. (I am happily married with two great kids). By the end of the day I was in full blown Anxiety/OCD about the thought of HIV. I went berserk inside my head. I did not tell my wife of what I had done and was convinced that I had HIV. Even 2 days after the 'event', I felt I had it. I can't explain how anxious and depressed I became, all the while hiding this from my family, surfing the net for 'symptoms', even going as far as what my company would do for medical leave. All of this in one week. After that it became much worse, I started to get abdominal pains, followed by burning, pinching and tingling in my groin, legs, and buttocks. Even my arms and face tingled. I went to the STD clinic 4 times in 4 months, my GP countless times, and hours and hours on the internet looking at STD symptoms. I (and this is a fact, not a generalization) cried my eyes out at least 3 times a day for 7 months, worried about losing my wife, my kids and life as I knew it, all over a lap dance. 5 months of suffering from burning groin and thighs and allodynia in my buttocks, my penis started to 'vibrate inside' like a cell phone was held up to it. Then the tip started to become Hypersensitive, I couldn't stand clothing touching it. And then the urethra started to burn and the glans turned red, especially at the very tip (MEATUS). I was now (and still a little obsessed) that I caught Herpes.
11 months after this whole affair, I am still stressed and anxious, but not to the degree I was, numerous STD tests, psychiatric visit, psychologist visits and this website have brought me down a lot. I still have tingling in my buttocks, scrotum and thighs, as well as a weird sensation from my left buttock, through my coccyx and over to my right buttock a bit, hard to describe, kind of numb, prickly. Tip sensitivity and burning urethra that comes and goes, but mainly when sitting. No lesions or blisters a la herpes.
This sucks.