UCPPS - Prostatitis, Interstitial Cystitis Forum

Hey

A lot of turbulence going on in my life has left me in a major flare. The pain is really aching. After a decision to move to a new city for a job opportunity my lifes just been upside down.
My girlfriend decided to leave me after a couple of tough months and due to the fact that I'm moving. She wasn't in to the idea of a long distance relationship. I just can't rule out the fact that my CPP is a major factor since all it has done to our sexlife and my mood. I know that if I would have been my old self, this would never have happened. CPP just affects you in so many ways, it can really break you down to nothing.
I would give everthing I have just to get well again, I can't take this anymore. I'm so frustrated right now I just felt I had to write something.

I'm not even sure I'm making the right decision in moving and to be honest, I'm not even excited, I'm really scared.

The reason for me moving is that I felt I had to break a cycle I'm recently in. Going to a job I really hate and not just really going anywhere with my life. For the last couple of days I havent been able to sleep or eat. I wake up in the morning with severe anxiety and not really even wanting to wake up at all. I have no self-esteem and I'm not sure Ill ever have the guts to meet someone again, not sure that I even want too since it always comes down to this.

I dont know what is happening, I'm totally disabled and nothing at all feels right, the pain is eating me up and I just can't take it no more.
I dont feel I have any answers.

Things have changed for me too recently....if you don't take Ultram or any of the benzos (valium, Xanax, etc).....give them a shot it may get you through the rough part....

CPPS changes life. Period.
If you think your gf leaves you because of chronic prostatitis / chronic pelvic pain syndrome and its resulting sexual side effect, then it is good for you to find this out now. If she cannot handle CPPS, she probably cannot handle life's other difficulties in the future.

Pelican,

I'm a full believer of getting new starts. Sometimes, you have to trust your intuition. If you think that your current life-cycle is getting you no where, leading to anxiety, and not worth living, than I think it's a great move to try something new and move to a new city. Sometimes, breaking routine and getting new starts is the right idea. I don't really have a comment on your GF's reaction to your move, to your CPPS, to your pain, as I know nothing about you other than your CPPS. But I think being an advocate for yourself is important. And it sounds like you have done it. Besides, you DID make this move, and so you have to move on right now, and not hold yourself back.

Mike

p.s. my chronic prostatitis / chronic pelvic pain syndrome started in full force for the first time when I moved to a new city for a new job too... just a thought...

Pelican,

Clearly you are in a very stressed out state of mind and it is manifesting in your body in the form of increased symptoms.

The question then is what can you do to reduce the stress that your mind is causing and then your body and mind should feel some improvement -- there is plenty.

I think you should approach this from both the physical and mental aspects.

Physical:
1. I would recommend taking some supplements to reduce anxiety and depression like L-theanine, GABA, 5 HTP. These have been clinically proven to be effective. If you need to know more let me know.

2. Abdominal Breathing -- If nothing else you should be breathing into your belly as this stimulates a nerve that quits down the sympathetic nervous system thus causing a reduction in trigger point electrical activity and thus reduced pain. This can be very helpful.

Mental:

1. Cognitive Therapy (Byron Katie or some other method). Personally I think this aspect is HUGE !! . I cannot tell you how many times I would stress about something, do my Byron Katie cognitive work, and within a short period of time my stress would subside and my body would feel better. For example you stated that you were "totally disabled". I would challenge that thought. Believing that thought will only cause you greater suffering and I doubt that the thought is completely true.

If there is anything I can do to try to help just let me know.

NoMoPain.

Thank you so much for the encouragement!

Mike,
I too believe that this "new start" will have a good effect on my well being and therefore hopefully on my symptoms as well.
Since I've started believing that my pain is mostly due to psychological factors I think that this actually could help a lot.

NoMoPian,
Thanks man, I've actually been on 200 mg os 5-htp for the last couple of weeks, it hasnt helped much though. I've also tried cognitive therapy, and that didn't have the effect I wanted it too although I also strongly have faith in that this is a good approach and I'm thinking about trying another therapist.

I know I suffer a lot from anxiety due to separation issues, probably due to a move I made in my early teens which had a real bad impact on my life. Therefore plain security has been a really big factor ever since and when I lose that my world turns upside down, that need of security is probably what has held me in that bad life-cycle for so long. Afraid to make changes since I have had such bad experiences. Its been the same thing with relationships, in some of them I wasn't really even in love but the moment I was alone again anxiety took over and I wanted them or the security from the relationship back so very badly.
It was actually after a breakup with a former girlfriend that I got my first symptoms of CPPS, another pointer to the psychology of this condition.

Thank you all again, I will continue my struggle. isn't it sad that although you know whats causing the anxiety or stress, its still so damn hard to fight it.

Pelican,

Hang in there! I agree completely with CppsDad You will get through the scary part and when you come out the other side, the move may greatly benefit you. Hold on to that possibility. That is what you are fighting for.

In the mean time, nomopain's suggestions are great. Just so you know, Pelican, I don't get symptoms anymore EXCEPT for when I am anxious. So I believe your anxiety is greatly exacerbating your symptoms, and agree completely with nomopain's suggestions.

Also, keep in mind that statistically, there are more casess of chronic prostatitis / chronic pelvic pain syndrome flares that start up in the winter time. Mood levels.

I hate to play the age card here, especially when I'm pretty young myself (at least I like to think so). But I'll play it anyway. Pelican, you are 23, in the beginning of the part of your life when you are finding things out about independence, self-reliance, careers, relationships, families, ways of life, self-esteem, health, and more. I think this can be a tricky part of life for a lot of people. Not that any of the things that you are going through now will be easier in 10 years, but you'll be able to handle some of these things better when you've been through it a little bit more and have more perspective on things. Don't feel bad for having anxiety and security issues - it's just part of making our way in this world. I think that chronic prostatitis / chronic pelvic pain syndrome makes ALL of these things worse. Perhaps I was a little anxious 5 years ago, but not enough to really make a difference in my every day life. But once my chronic prostatitis / chronic pelvic pain syndrome started getting worse, my ability to fight off that inner-anxiety wore down, to the point where the anxiety finally reared it's ugly head. Our bodies can only do so much at one time. There's a big chicken and egg scenario going on for all of us. I'm never sure whether psychology played a factor first, or whether it came second, but it doesn't really matter. At some point, it's all tied up together.

I guess my latter point is this: don't assume that psychology alone is causing your pain. You don't know, and no one can really tell you. So in addition to taking care of yourself emotionally (a step you have already taken), you need to continue the stretching and other treatments you have available to you at the same time. A little tension and anxiety needs to be counterbalanced by stretching and relaxation too.

Mike

When my chronic prostatitis / chronic pelvic pain syndrome was at its worst two years ago, it was in the middle of a move and serious wife problems about the move. Moving is incredibly stressful and one of the main causitive factors in divorce.

Two years later, I could not be happier for ending the miserable job I was in, the state of my life, and ending the crap weather in Michigan. I am much better all the way around today in Florida. Consider it current pain for future gain and getting a real life back.

I've been to the Hell of which you speak and back. Job, g-friend, money, fun....all gone. Total, utter despair.

But I'm happy to say that just 5 years later I'm better than ever: self-employed, married, comfortable and 80% symptom free. Sure, the old "prostate" is an annoying son-of-a-bitch, but I learned to deal with it once my symptoms relented.

Yours will relent, too. And you'll bounce back. All you have to do now is not give up.

Thanks,
My ex called me yesterday just to tell me that she met another guy. This guy however is or was a good friend of mine since 10 years back. Can I ever get a break, I mean its almost humorous...
Well theres nothing I can do about it, Ill just have to go with my life I guess.

Wow that's nice. Call your ex, and tell him your dating his friend! You have my sympathies.

Nothing you can do mate. Just get yourself better and kick some ass down the road in your new yacht that you park across from your ex's house.

Mike

Pelican wrote:Thanks,
My ex called me yesterday just to tell me that she met another guy. This guy however is or was a good friend of mine since 10 years back. Can I ever get a break, I mean its almost humorous...
Well theres nothing I can do about it, Ill just have to go with my life I guess.

My story is so very similar!! New job in diffirent city, girlfriend left me, chronic prostatitis / chronic pelvic pain syndrome got 500% worse. I've since become so ill that I've had to leave my "new" job.

My thoughts are with you. Hang in there!!