Overdue Check In With A Good Amount of Success

[worldsclide]

MS,

I am new here, but I'm with you brother. I've been suffering from intermittent pelvic pain for almost 2 years, and a big fear of mine is retaking the state bar exam that I failed three years ago.

Well, I'm taking the exam tomorrow and Wednesday. And my pelvic pain is currently raging because the thought of failing again and having to study for months again is frightening and painful. However, I know that's only because I care too much and put too much weight into fleeting accomplishments.

Passing or failing the exam won't define me, nor you. All professional exams can be retaken for the most part. The fact that you care so much will only make you better at what you do once you're practising.

Keep the faith.

[MajorSky1]

Thanks Webslave. That's exactly where they are. Yes, I do spend a lot of time sitting at a desk with neck craned a little, looking at a book. Makes perfect sense. I'll treat them like TPs... Ice them, and massage.

Thanks again!

[MajorSky1]

Worldsclide,

Thanks man. You're absolutely right!

I got an A on the test today, and my pain was gone within 15 minutes. CRAZY!

Good luck on the bar! You'll do well!

[MajorSky1]

Well, still doing over all pretty good. However, I have finals next week, and it's amazing how Thursday of last week my pains started talking. Today, feel all tensed up. Back and neck are starting to feel tight and sore after weeks of feeling pretty good.

Been trying to talk them down, and keep a clear head but the weirdest thing is that I can almost feel part of my brain shifting back as the pain wakes up. Mostly pelvic floor, tailbone stuff, and a little spermatic cord/epididymis pain.

Been having really bad trouble with ED lately, and am frustrated with that. Stress/anxiety is killing my mojo big time. Not sure how to overcome this completely.

[Cree]

Hi Major: I'm in the same boat. Just went back to work and testicular pain has been through the roof ever since. Trying to focus on Alan Gordon's teachings about not reinforcing the pain with fear and attention but when 99% of your waking thoughts are about the pain it's nearly impossible to find peace of mind!

[MajorSky1]

Been doing well until about this morning when something in my pelvic floor didn't feel right after a BM. (Still having intermittent pain flares AFTER BMs once in a while).
Checked PF in the shower, and found a bad trigger point between 12 and 3 o'clock, top edge of internal sphincter and up in the corner of the prostate lobe. Super intense, tight, painful. Tried to release it a little while ago, may have gotten it, but I was REALLY hoping I was past having those damn things anymore.
The only things I can attribute it to is that I've stepped up the workout at the gym, and I've had some problems with ED for a couple weeks that is probably stemming from some emotional crap left over from a brief relationship. Not because of any kind of heartbreak, just worry about ED affecting future relationships. I did have some coke-a-cola for the first time in ages last night though... Something in that maybe?

So, when you palpate the pelvic floor at and above the internal sphincter, it's not supposed to hurt so bad that you can't catch your breath, right?
Is there a verdict on TPs going away on their own if you leave them alone? Or is it better to release them with palpation?

So damn sick of this.

[webslave]

Better to treat them, but it can feel worse for a while. Pain like that is not normal, no. Won't go away on their own unless you become a Zen Master of relaxation, almost impossible in the hurly-burly of daily life.

[MajorSky1]

OK, then maybe I should schedule with my PT to have it treated. There may be some tissue farther up than I can reach, and that's why it hasn't completely gone away in the past 5 months or so that I've had it intermittently. It's pretty much the only spot that bad. There are some occasional aches by the tailbone, but they don't last so I don't think they've evolved into TPs.

This one spot however... So once the muscle tension reaches a certain threshold, and becomes a TP, it gets stuck there and won't release unless manually assisted? After it's released, it will eventually calm and learn not to do that again? So far, none of my old TP spots have come back.

[webslave]

It's not uncommon to have one or two intractable trigger points. I have some in my shoulders that keep coming back and need treatment on and off, especially when I use my hands to do repetitive tasks like using a mouse or pressing the trigger on a garden sprayer. If you habitually and unconsciously tense the pelvic muscles, they will need treatment on an ongoing basis.

[MajorSky1]

Just went through a phase of returning TrPs in the pelvic floor, which had a bit of a ripple effect of weird pains in surrounding areas. I've calmed it down, and paid a lot of attention to not only what was going on in my mind and body during this episode, but also to any effects my thought processes had on it. I also started meditating, and in just the last week have gotten myself into the habit of sighing (which is a good thing).

I'm coming to a conclusion that for me, the Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) is the area of issue. The reason I have determined this is because the way my stress manifests as pain in the lower back, sacrum, tailbone, lower abdomen (descending colon), spermatic cords, an epididymis, and even a spot of penile pain, and of course pelvic floor pain (anterior half bilateral to the urethra).

Sure, when we get stressed we can get a stiff neck, or maybe some back pain. However, I believe that very deep stress for long duration, or even emotional trauma can cause an alteration in the way the SNS functions. The SNS is located in the back (T1 to L2), with especially the inferior mesenteric ganglion coming into the spinal cord between T12 and L2 from the gonads and genitalia. The large intestine afferent nerves come from the superior mesenteric ganglion, and then go to the celiac ganglion which shares a lot of input from other sources like the stomach and other organs. This area of the nervous system is sometimes referred to as the "little" brain, which eventually communicates with the frontal lobe of the brain which is the control panel for a lot of functions and processes of our bodies.

Basically, something has caused a change in function between these areas and now my SNS gets stimulated too easily, but ALSO, my PNS (Parasympathetic Nervous System) is not kicking in like it should automatically. The PNS is our "rest and digest" part of the nervous system. It is essential for sexual arousal and only gives in to the SNS as orgasm begins. This is how I've figured this out for myself. When your SNS is in gear, you may feel like being sexually aroused, but your body will probably have a hard time responding (no pun intended ;).

I've had a difficult time getting an erection for about a month now, and it all started with a woman I was seeing getting upset with me that I had to use Viagra to be able to use a condom. She was upset that I didn't tell her sooner, and at the time, it caused a lot of unnecessary turmoil because she's very high strung. (In fact, she's the most stressful person I've ever been involved with and I ended it because of that). She also reacted to my information of having Herpes II in a cold way, which made me feel even worse about myself than I already did. (Caught it from my ex wife, shortly after we were married).

I've known about the SNS and PNS before, but with what I've learned in school, here on this site, and my own research and experience, I'm now giving the nervous system TOP priority in all of this. Here is where the source of the pain lies.

My PT gave me a link to an awesome meditation CD specifically designed for pelvic pain. It's called Meditation for Pelvic Health by Nari Clemons: https://itun.es/us/sNF1gb?i=1188428612

And I'm committed to doing at least one track of meditation at least once a day until it becomes a habit for me to do. This is only ONE tool, but I'm convinced that some form of meditation is essential for success with pelvic pain (and possibly other forms of pain too).

An important tool that I've already gained by listening to this is to sigh. Taking a deep breath, and sighing on the exhale. It activates the parasympathetic NS, and that is most of the battle here.

It's not like we can't handle stress, and we all did before we got this crap. The lie is that you can't handle stress, but you can. But the pain flares caused by stress make it worse than it is, and that's because most likely the Sympathetic Nervous System is engaged (fight, flight, or freeze reaction), and it causes a ton of involuntary actions with muscles, especially INVOLUNTARY tensing, which can go unnoticed until pain begins and at which point, there is going to be more pain in the process of reversing the tension.

So, yes, remove unneeded stress from your life. Your going to have stressors that are normal. The key is to get rid of the things that will cause you pointless, undue stress.

I know all of this has been said on the site, and all over the place; I'm just explaining that I'm finally GETTING it on the deeper level - zeroing in on what drives my pain issue, and how to solve it.

I'm now 99% sure that my two-plus years of pain started because my father not only almost died, but I watched him suffer for 4 months in the hospital. I knew his death was coming prior to this because of his health, but he didn't die. There was no natural arch. He had his heart attack, had bypass, and didn't recover because his diabetes complicated everything, along with his age, and a stroke he had when he was 17 that left his left side with partial paralysis.

Instead of dying, he kept nearly dying over 4 months (and a few times after that) and the strain of those ups and downs, along with some other things in my personal life was too much. I watched my mother suffer too. It was extremely exhausting. He lived, and is in some ways better, but still not the same. He's just waiting to die now, spends his days watching TV in a chair, and can barely use a walker.

For a year and a half, I belittled this in my mind as just part of life. You go through life watching other people go through the death of a parent. It's one of those things that no one ever really wants to have interrupt their lives in order to deal with grief. Who looks forward to grieving? Nobody.
I think this event caused some form of PTSD for me.

This current flare started the day after I took him to the doctor a couple weeks ago. It may have triggered some memories of the hospital days. There was a point where I was sitting there at the appointment with him as the NP asked him questions, and suddenly I just wanted to get out of there.

The past week, as I have worked on the NS stuff for myself, I've noticed a difference. It doesn't happen instantly, but over a few days I'm feeling better. The TrPs are gone with only a little occasional residual twinge of pain. My bowels are starting to work more smoothly. That's another symptom of too much SNS - a slowing of bowels. If the PNS is the rest and digest part, then the SNS is the seize-up part.

So I'm going forward trying to change my thinking so that next time I have a stressful situation that can't be avoided, I can manage it and it's affects on my SNS so that I don't have a flare up or anxiety.

[webslave]

Great post, Major. Real insight.

[Cree]

Hi Major:

Glad you are getting some insight into things. I've found that Dr. Jeffrey Thompson's stuff is great for calming down that overactive SNS (I have that too!). I listen to his Alpha Relaxation system almost nighty, very calming.

For the anxiety stuff, look into Dr. Albert Ellis and his rational emotive behavior therapy. This is stuff you can do on your own. He was a giant in the field of behavioral psychology and passed away a few years ago. His lecture on how to stop worrying is brilliant, I've listened to it hundreds of times.

[MajorSky1]

Thanks Cree! I'm diggin it!

Thanks Webslave. :)

[MajorSky1]

This Ellis guy is a trip.

[webslave]

Albert Ellis is considered by some to be the "Father of Cognitive Therapy". I know that David Wise highly recommends the work of Byron Katie, whose ideas are of a similar ilk (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life). Also notable in this respect is Eckhart Tolle (The Power of Now).