Need Some Serious Help (GARYS case)

[yoink15]

Hey GARYS,

Thought I'd pop by and say hello because..yes..I'm flaring again. (It seems I only find the energy to write when I'm in pain. I guess that's the way it is for most around here.) Just to let you know, it seems that our symptoms and trigger points mirror each other again. I had big problems with my psoas (and still do). When i was first seeing a physical therapist for my CPPS, she did some external work on me and noticed that my psoas muscles were (in her words) "as hard as rocks". Especially my left one. She said she could barely move them as she pressed down on either side of my belly button to get at them. I don't know how it all related to my chronic prostatitis / chronic pelvic pain syndrome but I gotta guess that it relates somehow. I did a lot of psoas stretching...mainly the kneeling psoas stretch..look it up online..but watch a video on how it's done, because it's very easy to do it wrong and get no benefit. Anyways my psoas muscles are looser now, but I never really saw a corresponding improvement in my symptoms.

I'm flaring right now and I think it's because of one of two things, or possibly both. I was reading a thread on the forums earlier about sex vs masturbation and I definitely think there is a difference in terms of how it affects chronic prostatitis / chronic pelvic pain syndrome suffers. It's clear the sex is a far, far better way for me to ejaculate than to masturbate. I haven't the foggiest idea why this is true. I've been limiting my ejaculations to once a week, and if I masturbate to achieve ejaculation, I almost always have an increase in symptoms. No matter what. Even if my wife masturbates me and I ejaculate, I get the same increase in symptoms. But if I have sex with my wife and ejaculate, I feel just fine afterwards! (Even if I don't do the recommended "just lay there with her on top" method). Well on Sunday I had sex with my wife and everything seemed okay. Then on Tuesday I masturbated...and that's when the trouble began. After I ejaculated I noticed an increase in symptoms that basically became a full blown flare.

Now the second thing that I did was that for the first time in months I lifted weights at the gym. So far for four months I've been doing nothing but cardio on the elliptical and that seemed to be just fine. I could do an hour a day on the elliptical and have no flares or problems. But on Tuesday night I lifted weights and I felt some weird flare-y feeling in my pelvis after it was all done. Between that and the masturbation it seems like I'm having an awful Wednesday. My symptoms were so bad tonight I had trouble eating dinner after work. Gah I hope this goes away. If it doesn't I may have to take a Klonopin and try the "Benzo-flare-breaker" thing that seems to work. I just hate taking drugs.

Hope things are well with you. Have your symptoms gotten any better?

[GARYS]

Hey yoink, I was wondering how you were doing. Flares suck but I havent felt a decrease in symptoms for awhile now, actually an increase on the discomfort/burning after urination. I've had a few emails with Tim and spoke to Dr. Wise here lately about the work on my psoas. Since working on it I have been feeling a little worse and like I said it changed my internal tps to much worse to work. I can get further from the prostate and only single digits on the pressure. And the confusing part is Tim wants me to back off the internal work to once a week. I have no idea why. Dr Wise and my pt said it sounded like a good thing that the internal triggers have changed. I don't know anything about the weight lifting since I never do it and the sex/masturbation is once a week tops for me. For the 15 years with this its the first time I have no libido. Why don't you send me an email sometime at garscheel at aol.com. wouldnt hurt to talk since everything were going through is so similar.

[yoink15]

Hey GARYS,

Hope things are well with you. For me, I am MIS-ER-ABLE right now. My god, I know the recovery process for chronic prostatitis / chronic pelvic pain syndrome is three steps forward and two steps back, but over the last two days I feel like I've taken 15 steps back. This flare is enormous!

In the "bad old days" of September and October, my pain and frequency was causing me to have anxiety attacks, loss of appetite and loss of sleep. Well between the ejaculation I had on Tuesday and the weightlifting I tried the same day, I've done something *horrible* to my pelvic floor and I feel like I did back then. I don't know what's going on down there but I'm sitting here at work, barely able to keep my eyes open from lack of sleep, an upset stomach because I can't eat, and a huge achey-burning feeling in my prostate. Should I try and do a Wise-Anderson Protocol protocol tonight? I don't know. Will it make things worse or will it help open up my pelvic floor a little? Do I even have the energy to do it?

I took a quarter of a tab of Klonopin last night and that helped me sleep, but I think it's not restful sleep, because it screws with your REM cycle.
I'm just depressed and sad and in pain and all this falls on the almost exactly the three month anniversary of me seeing Tim Sawyer in Los Gatos and getting started on this "road to recovery". November was better, and December was even better than that...and then in January I was really starting to feel like I was doing great. I caught myself thinking to myself "wow you've really climbed out of that dark hole you were in."...and then BAM this happens and I feel like I'm right back where I started. My wife tells me to stop thinking like that..that this is just a bump in the road...that flares happen and we all knew this would eventually happen. It's just that what I *thought* were flares in the last three months are *nothing* compared to what I'm going through tonight. My prostate and penis pain is through the roof and it just sucks so much.

I can't remember if it was you or Kevkos that I gave a pep talk to about not to worry when you feel a flare...and I said that I'd probably need the same pep talk in the future when I'd be flaring and depressed. Well, I need that pep talk now. I know I'm doing all the right things with the Wise-Anderson Protocol protocol (I've been doing the PT every 2 days like clockwork) but I've sort of fallen off the wagon with the paradoxical relaxation. I guess I need to get back onboard and do those tapes at least an hour a day again.

[GARYS]

hi yoink, sorry to hear that! don't worry it will pass soon!!! your wife is right. I haven't read any success stories where they didn't have flare ups, great thing is you have been making such progress and unfortunately this is part of it. Take some deep belly breaths and try to relax. Best thing is to lay down and put a small book or something on your belly and only breathe with your belly and slowly count to ten or higher in then out then ten without breathing if that makes sense. And just know your doing the right things. You'll get through it. I always think of it as a jail sentence and were just doing hard time but the door will open soon and then freedom. It's funny how its easy to tell someone this but when there going through it themselves they can't see it. Take your medicine until it passes which will be soon!!

[yoink15]

Thanks GARYS....I've read your post three times and each time makes me feel a little bit better. I love my wife dearly and I've said before that she's the "Captain of Team Pelvis" (lol) but sometimes you just gotta talk to someone who knows exactly what you're going through in order to really get some peace of mind about this condition. My wife has a chronic pain condition of her own (she's 34 but at age 30 she was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis in her hands and feet). She takes medication to control the symptoms almost down to 0% pain, but she really does understand what it's like to live in constant pain, and to know that there's "something wrong" with your body that you just can't quite fix overnight.

Tell me GARYS, I see that you've been posting on this forum for almost 6 years...have you been doing the Wise-Anderson Protocol protocol for that long? I'm guessing the answer is no, because I know the recovery process is long, but I've never heard any of the success stories say that it's longer than 1-2 years. When did you really start to "throw yourself totally" into doing the Wise-Anderson Protocol protocol? I know we're never supposed to impose a timeline on our own bodies but I just can't help counting the days that I've been trying to heal myself and using that as some sort of standard by which to judge my progress. I know that's ultimately one of the worst things I can do for my mental health and I've already seen one example of it. Back in October when I first saw Tim, I said to myself, "Okay my goal is to be healed by Christmas!" Well, Christmas came and went and while i was "better" I wasn't "cured" (duh...obviously. What was I thinking?) But it depressed me because I had set myself an arbitrary timeline as a goal and then failed to accomplish that goal which in turn made me feel like a failure.

I've been at this Wise-Anderson Protocol thing for three months but I've got to get it through my thick skull that this may take an entire year (OR TWO!!!) to be at zero percent pain. And if I've barely been at this for three months...then I'm barely a quarter of the way through the process. However, I do feel that I've made greater than a 25% improvement...so maybe that means I'm ahead of the curve! lol!
Thanks again GARYS...you saved me a little tonight. :)

[GARYS]

Hi yoink, hope your feeling better today! I just recently attended the clinic back at the end of September. Before that I tried different things here and there. I've actually been on this board since it started. Mine seemed to almost go away on its own for about five years with only a bad day here and there. But it came back and really hit me hard and even worse on my mind. I told myself this time I will do everything possible to be well again. I only wish I could tell that treatment so far has done anything yet but I've had it so long that my progress could be slower. Got your email. Talk to you soon. You'll be fine!!!

[yoink15]

Hey friend,

It was good to match up online. It's so funny about your history with chronic prostatitis / chronic pelvic pain syndrome because once AGAIN it mirrors mine. Mine started in 2007 and it was very mild at the time. Even so I went to Dr. Wise's clinic in the winter of that year, but slacked off with the protocol because my symptoms didn't really interfere with my life. It was only a little urinary frequency and hardly any pain at all. But as we all know, chronic prostatitis / chronic pelvic pain syndrome can be a progressive condition sometimes, and I didn't change the behaviors that gave me my chronic prostatitis / chronic pelvic pain syndrome in the first place and the frequency and the pain only grew. Then, as you know,in around July of 2011 my symptoms just exploded and it's changed my life every since. It's been like a battle royale every day with my pelvis since then. In October I saw Tim as you know, and I "relearned" how to use the wand, and that's what's saved me from losing my sanity so far. Now over the course of the last three months I'm trying to "relearn" the paradoxical relaxation that Dr. Wise taught us. Damn I wished I'd paid more attention to those relaxation sessions that Dr. Wise taught during the clinic! I'm sure there are plenty of tips and tricks in there that I simply have forgotten. I read his newer book "Paradoxical Relaxation" and gleaned some info from there, but still, this relaxation thing is challenging. It can run the gamut from confusing to boring to enlightening and back to confusing again. However, I do think I've gotten better at it, somewhat. Lately in the last month (when I do it) it seems I can make my symptoms disappear for a short time. But it never lasts. I really did fall of the wagon too...last month I was doing it every day, and then I sorta trailed off and only did it for about 15 minutes a day, instead of an hour...and some days not at all. I think a lot of the success stories attribute great gains to the relaxation tapes, so I guess I have to commit myself to doing them. It's just that they take so much time! (and sometimes it feels like nothing is happening...whereas with PT it ALWAYS feels like something is happening, ya know?)

Oh and my flare is slowly getting better. I did internal PT last night and I was able to sleep through the night. Then today I did a full hour of relaxation and I felt a little better. I hate how (for me, at least) flares can come on in a matter of minutes and then take DAYS to subside. It's a big part of the anxiety that I have over this condition and sometimes it takes my wife looking at me straight in the eye and basically smacking me and saying "HEY! You know this isn't permanent! This flare will pass like all the rest! Now STOP OBSESSING OVER IT!" God bless her! LOL

[GARYS]

Hey yoink, I sent you a message. Did you see it?

[yoink15]

Ya sorry GARYS I'll reply tonight. Been super busy.

[dvdx2]

hi GARYS

Would it be possible for you to email me the guide you talked about?

[GARYS]

Sorry dvdx2 that was yoink who has that.

[yoink15]

Dvdx2 do you have the Wise-Anderson Protocol wand? When did you get it? Do you need me to email you the guide?

[dvdx2]

No I dont have the wand - yoink15, is there anywhere I can buy one?

[bobby]

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000PC ... ag=cp58-20

What about this one? I have been looking myself as my PT has recommended I get one. Dvdx2 this one looks the "smallest" diameter wise that I could fine. Anyone recommend it?

[dvdx2]

thanks bobby - I'll look into it