I feel anxiety drove me to this

[ThighguyCA]

Hi all,

This seems like a great place to go for confession and support and ideas for improvement. My story is similar to many on this board. Last fall, around late September I went on a business trip. Long story short, I had a lap dance with a stripper. I was very inebriated. Next morning I felt tremendous guilt about what I had done. (I am happily married with two great kids). By the end of the day I was in full blown Anxiety/OCD about the thought of HIV. I went berserk inside my head. I did not tell my wife of what I had done and was convinced that I had HIV. Even 2 days after the 'event', I felt I had it. I can't explain how anxious and depressed I became, all the while hiding this from my family, surfing the net for 'symptoms', even going as far as what my company would do for medical leave. All of this in one week. After that it became much worse, I started to get abdominal pains, followed by burning, pinching and tingling in my groin, legs, and buttocks. Even my arms and face tingled. I went to the STD clinic 4 times in 4 months, my GP countless times, and hours and hours on the internet looking at STD symptoms. I (and this is a fact, not a generalization) cried my eyes out at least 3 times a day for 7 months, worried about losing my wife, my kids and life as I knew it, all over a lap dance. 5 months of suffering from burning groin and thighs and allodynia in my buttocks, my penis started to 'vibrate inside' like a cell phone was held up to it. Then the tip started to become Hypersensitive, I couldn't stand clothing touching it. And then the urethra started to burn and the glans turned red, especially at the very tip (MEATUS). I was now (and still a little obsessed) that I caught Herpes.

11 months after this whole affair, I am still stressed and anxious, but not to the degree I was, numerous STD tests, psychiatric visit, psychologist visits and this website have brought me down a lot. I still have tingling in my buttocks, scrotum and thighs, as well as a weird sensation from my left buttock, through my coccyx and over to my right buttock a bit, hard to describe, kind of numb, prickly. Tip sensitivity and burning urethra that comes and goes, but mainly when sitting. No lesions or blisters a la herpes.

This sucks.

[webslave]

Thanks for sharing this. Your case is an important one because it's one of the clearest examples we have seen of the importance of anxiety in the etiology of this condition.

[ThighguyCA]

Thanks Webslave. This has been an incredible experience for me, one that I regret of course. Thank god for this website, it may literally have saved me from the worst.

[webslave]

Question: did your penis actually have contact with the stripper's vulva?

[ThighguyCA]

Not that I remember. I am sure I was clothed, but my Anxiety has made up multiple scenarios. Why?

[webslave]

Just that infection would be impossible in a clothed situation. Truly amazing what the mind can do!

[ThighguyCA]

I also think I may have triggered Fibromyalgia and/or CFS. My tongue feels the same as my buttocks at times, my scalp burns and my arms and legs will often tingle or burn. I would appreciate any comments from any guys out there who have experience this same story and result.

[ThighguyCA]

Had my second PT visit today. First she started with Dry Needling. My hip muscle near my buttock was so tight she couldn't get a needle in. And the pain was excruciating. After a while she did a DRE. She stated that she has never felt anyone so tight as I was. She could actually hook her finger on one of muscles ( I forget the name). She said she couldn't even feel my prostate (so that is not so much an issue as the tight muscles. I asked her if all of this could cause the pains I was feeling. Of Course she said. Now I have a regime of stretching and sitting exercises. One thing I forgot to ask is if these tight muscles can reduce blood flow to the penis and area. Webslave?

[webslave]

I wouldn't worry about reduced blood flow (Doppler tests show increased blood flow, if anything, at least to the prostate, in men with CP/CPPS). The dysfunctional state of the pelvic nerves in CP/CPPS is what affects tumescence, if that's what's concerning you.

[ThighguyCA]

When I asked about blood flow, I was wondering if it is reduced. My glans where it is not irriated (red) seems like it is lacking colour. Sometimes white, bluish, purple. Seems to have life of its own.

[ThighguyCA]

I am wondering if anyone has buttock pain, itching, burning, tingling? It is on my left cheek, goes from my outside thigh all the way up and across. It is a weird feeling most of the time, not burning, but more of a prickly feeling. My coccyx area and anus feel numb too. Is this something that other people with CPPS experience? It is something I deal with daily. My PT said that my buttock muscle was very tight. I hope this is a symptom of CPPS and/or anxiety. Can anyone respond with their experience?

[Caedar]

The buttock pain sounds like a tight or spasming piriformis to me.

[ThighguyCA]

Thanks Caedar, how are things going?

[Caedar]

Pretty good! I started some physical therapy and a few drugs, and I've improved quite a bit. All the specifics are in my thread. I've been really struggling with abdominal pain recently, though, even with TP release. I just can't seem to keep myself from tensing my gut throughout the day, even when I'm not stressed. I think I'll have to get into some serious autogenic training/progressive muscle relaxation to target that.

[ThighguyCA]

Hi All,

Stressed to the max for the last 16 months over my infidelity. Burn in my penis is periodic, but what I have constantly is numbness, allodynia and a prickly feeling in my left buttock and now starting on my right. Both of my front thighs burn and I can feel my clothes on them. Coccyx goes numb from Anus to tailbone often. Even my left foot goes numb. Can't shake the Herpes thought, even though science says it won't cause chronic problems. I am on the cusp of a nervous breakdown because of this and my guilt. Does anyone suffer from these same symptoms?