Advice and Understanding about what is happening?

[thebattler]

All

I am sure that you have heard many stories like the one I am about to tell but I would really value some advice. I really feel that I will only get better once and if I understand what has in fact happended to me (is this common?)

October 2006 I had casual sex with a girl I didn't know. I had been married for 3 months and had been with my partner for over 13 years. Although it seems pointless saying this after all that has happended, I had never been unfaithful before. Almost immediatley, within 2 days I started to not feel right physically, I could feel pain in the tip of my penis. Within a week I was suffering with frequency and urgency and the pain seemed to be getting worse. In addition I had discharge from the tip of my penis. I immediately went to my doctor who took a swab and the results were negative. For some reason I wanted to be 100% sure that I was clean and so I went to the STI clinic.

The STI clinic performed the usual swab/urine tests and the results came back negative. By this time I was becoming increasingly frantic as I was suffering with Frequency and Urgency and was in a fair bit of pain. In the meantime, probably within 2 days of the sexual encounter I had had sex with my wife even though I had suspected something was not quite right. Stupid, irreseponsible, selfish and dangerous, I totally agree but I had the "it will never happen to me syndrome".

Now, probably 2-3 weeks after the encounter I was becoming neurotic and so took myslef back to the Clinic who performed another swab and more urine tests. I was in so much pain having to hold my urine as my urgency and frequency was taking hold of me. Again a negative test. By this time I was mentally destroyed, I knew something wasn't right. Finally the clinic agreed to have a final look at me and told me to hold my urine for 12 hours!....12 bloody hours! The tests were done and the clinci finally found an infection...they called it Non-Specific Uretheritis and I was given anti biotics to clear up the infection. I was told the infection was mild and so would not have been picked up on the hold your urine for 3 hours tests!.

It took 2 lots of anti-biotics to get rid of my infection and in the meantime I was struggling with urgency and frequency every single day.

By the end of November 2006 I was clear of infection but still had pain in the tip of my penis. I was destroyed mentally, the guilt had worn me down and I spiralled into a depressive state.

January 2007 I was treated for depression and I can honestly say that I now have never felt better mentally. However due to the continuing pain in the tip of my penis I was sent to Urologist and was treated with the standard first line medical treatments that many of you have been treated with. None worked.

I was diagnosed with chronic prostatitis / chronic pelvic pain syndrome in March 2007 and have been practicing the SP/HIP as much as possible for the last month. I see an MFR specialist in Glasgow and I am off to see Bill Taylor next Friday (will let you all know how I got on!).

My question to anyone out there (who is still awake after reading this!) is two fold? I need to know what has caused my spasm in my pelvic floor? Was it the intial infection or was it my extreme depressive reaction to my infidelity? It may seem immaterial as the treatment for either is likely to be the same but it matters to me?

Secondly - I truly belive I will get better following this methodology and like everyone I am in a rush to get better. However I have a trigger point in my perineum that when pressed refers shooting pains up the shaft of my penis and into the tip. When palpatated it jumps back/twitches almost. It replicated my symptoms. However when my urologist palpated my pelvic floor he replicated my pain in the tip of my penis as well. This leads me to belive that my levator ani muscle around my prostate is strained as well. Can this be correct?

If so has anyone had similar symptoms and how have you treated them?

Through all of this my wife has supported me and continues to be my world. Life and love with her is fantastic, shame we had to go through all this to realise it. Blessing in disguise could never be a more apt phrase.


Good Luck and thanks in advance for any replies.

The battler

Together we can beat it

[carld]

Seems to me the infection was the start and the stress over your infidelity caused the pelvic floor to clench via guilt and anxiety and to some extent karma. I'm not hear to judge anyone, I'm here to help and be helped.

My thought as I'm reading your post is does your Wife know about your infidelity

Part of our protocol is relaxation and to some degree for me, a clear mind free of guilt and regrets. Don't replay your deeds over and over, if your wife knows and has forgiven, then don't pay for your mistake for the rest of your life.

I suggest a therapist to work out your anxiety and stress over this. Perhaps if your Wife does not know, then come clean and take what becomes of this if you have not already come clean .

[NoMoPain]

My guess would be that you already had some restrictions and\or latent (means non-active) trigger points in your pelvis, but the stress of the infidelity was enough to "trigger" so to speak the trigger points.

I think you are taking a very healthy approach to this though. Just by talking about the issue here can be very helpful and cathartic. As recommended I think a good therapist can be extremely helpful with overcoming the emotional aspect of this - which definately influences the physical.

In addition by doing the physical therapy this will also of course help. I think you are doing the right thing by working on Mind, Body, and Emotions.

I can definately identify with your story as to this day I still love going to Strip clubs. I love those lap dances !

Take Care,
NoMopain.

[carld]

I still love those free big tit websites

[Sleeper Service]

I still love those free big tit websites

Guilty as charged!